Tony soprano…new owner of the taj mahal ?!

[citytom]

TONY SOPRANO…NEW OWNER OF THE TAJ MAHAL ?!


I like the sound of that. I’m Tony Soprano and I’m thinking about buying the Taj. Yeah, I might offer “The Donald” a good deal…a real good deal…one that he can’t refuse.

Waste management is my current business. Me and my family live off Exit 14 on the Turnpike, but my business takes me all over Jersey. The business has been giving me too many problems lately. My partner had to “go away” for awhile. I’m being asked for favors all over the freaking place. I need to take a couple of associates for a ride, and lots more grief to handle. KnowadImean? The Feds are following me, my competitors are pressing for a higher percentage of juice, and one of my Captains, I mean…uh.. drivers…is being questioned by the Rackets Commission and may turn state‘s evidence. Another one of my top..uh..drivers is missing, and one of my underbosses, Frankie, is in the hospital recovering from massive injuries incurred while he was starting his car. Ya know, the garbage business ain’t so freakin easy. Yeah, it’s loaded with action, women, and lots of money, but I’m getting aggita. Fuggetaboutit.

I’ve been to AC many times and really like visiting the Taj. If I’m gonna run the place I gotta make some changes though. For one thing, it needs more Goombahs walking in the door. And I know just what to do it.

First of all, I’m gonna have Sinatra piped into all the rooms, restaurants, casino, and poker room. Don’t worry, I’m not leaving out Dino or Tony Bennett. They’ll have their share of the airwaves.

Next, the chairs in the poker room gotta go. That’s right. I’m gonna change all the freakin chairs. I can barely get my ass into one, never mind guys like “FatEddie” or “Tony from Bayonne”. I’m gonna add six inches to each side.

Another thing. What the F… is with those tiny chocolates on the bed at night. What’s that for?…..a bird?!!! A cannoli, that’s right, a nice fat cannoli, from Momma Leone’s should be sitting there. In fact, that fag French restaurant by the lobby goes, and Momma Leone’s Fine Italian cuisine comes in. People want to eat a nice fat Braggiole, not some wimp cheese soufflé.

And the security of the whole place will be upgraded. You think those pussy rent-a-cops, or for that matter, the real cops are gonna protect you? You been to AC lately? It’s a freakin horror story…crime all over the place. It won’t be in my place though. You need an escort? Just go see Vito in the security office! You try to rip me off? Vito will see you in the security office! Ya knowadImean?! Fuggetaboutit. You cause a crime at the Taj…you won’t be goin to the freakin police station, jail, or court. You’ll likely be looking for an orthopedic surgeon…or maybe takin a long swim will suit ya.

I know I’ll have to go before the State Board to get approval for a gambling license. I’ll tell them the same thing I told the FBI and local cops. I was in Vegas for two weeks when Joey Balls was found in one of my landfills. And, by the way, I had nothing to do with body parts of “Vinnie the Nose” showing up in the AC surf. Yeah, we had a beef, but you can’t pin it on me. I was with my wife. Ask her, go ahead, ask her. And Jimmy Hoffa?!! I don’t know him, never knowed him, and don’t know who whacked him. I was at a Yankee game…with a priest that day.

Ya know, maybe I don’t need to run the Taj. Yeah screw it!


Author: Tommy G. (ex-Jersey resident, veteran poker player, and Magician)
Tommy G offers an instructional DVD on how to perform a variety of colorful poker chip tricks (and some powerful card handling moves). Go to www.pokerchipdvd.com.

[tking888]

i guess i just don't get it. maybe not having HBO has something to do with it.

[Washerwoman]

gotta get HBO and watch Sopranos, Tk, if not...life ain't worth living

that series is

FOUR ACES

oh , and the royal flush shite above it or summat

nooohhh

get the whole series out with chinese take out and watch it...

it's SUPERB

i'm gonna catch that horse if i can..The Byrds...but i digress...No Title, Chestnut Mare...but, there ya go...ahhh, Dan, baby, i'm in our thread...we'll be friends for life...

[Washerwoman]

my mum was sort of "proper" but she brought me up to question everything and never put up with bs and always fight, cos she believed in me...so...

i won't give up or give in if i see bs anywhere...lol...and u can shoot me if u like...i don't fekkin care

she didn't have the courage, but i do

i don't care

but i do

if it matters

Listen to "Wild Horses" by the Stones if u don't know it already...will get u into Tumbleweeds, or offstage lines..., prob teams have to be rearranged soon anyway

[Washerwoman]

PS: I think i told you before you should write more when you were plagiarising some Northern/Southern diary...

[Dan Abnormal]

You might be on to something, the latest edition of ALL IN mag, AJ Soprano (Robert Iller) has made great strides in his WSOP play.

When does it stop we have Scott Ian (anthrax) as a pro player - TRISCEHLLE (real world Las Vegas) now wearing AB gear and AJ soprano tearing up the felt

[Poker Orifice]

You might be on to something, the latest edition of ALL IN mag, AJ Soprano (Robert Iller) has made great strides in his WSOP play.

When does it stop we have Scott Ian (anthrax) as a pro player - TRISCEHLLE (real world Las Vegas) now wearing AB gear and AJ soprano tearing up the felt

I saw 'JanisSoprano' on Pokerstars the other day. She's a micro tournament player it seems. Try doing a player search for her & you'll probably find her on 4 or 5 mtt tables ~$11buyin.

[Dan Abnormal]

REmember Boston Rob and Ambur (amber) from Survivor and Amazing Race fame. Boston Rob seemed to have tried to become a pro also. Got pro training but I guess reality hit him. AHHHH What are Boston Rob and Ambur doing today

[PLAYFUL1]

YAHHHHHHHH PLAYFUL WATCHED EVERY EPISODE OF THE SOPRANOS...AND WHAT A BS TERRIBLE ENDING 2 THE GREAT SERIES 2...WHAT YAH ALL THONK

[thejudge]

I agree PLaYFULL....brilliant series ...terrible ending.....obvious they were all gonna get shot....Why not show it?......They weren't worried about showing violence earlier in the series....Why change it when the family is involved??