This is so funny!!
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling
rigs. Below is a e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to
radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, which was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was
not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I
was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I
informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along
with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless
to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five
minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and
told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The
cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt-hole was swollen
shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
And whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: "is this a "jellyfish bad" day?"
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