Jokes

[SASSY36]

I like jokes so I thought I would make this thread up so I could maybe read some of your funny jokes


MM

Subject: husband down


A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.



'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.

'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.



A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.



'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the price.'



On the PA system: 'Cleanup needed on aisle 25, we have a husband down'

[villaridge]

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keyingin...
P...
E...
N...
I...
S...
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

PASSWORD DENIED. NOT LONG ENOUGH

[kingjames07]

lmao...............

[OmahaOne]

Here is one of my favorite blond jokes:


Why was the blond fired from the M&M factory?

Because she kept throwing away all the Ws.

[Cardie]

Costume Party


Acouple was invited to a swanky costume Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished,naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said: "- Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
- "Did you dance much?"
- "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poke r all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to......."