Without a doubt, I have to choose George Carlin!
It's impossible for me to just choose one favourite routine...so here are two

George Carlin "Cats and Dogs"
YouTube - George Carlin "Cats and Dogs"

George Carlin Talks About "Stuff"
YouTube - George Carlin Talks About "Stuff"



Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
GC