And that's how the fight started

[Alnoble]

One year, a husband decided
to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Christmas gift.. The next year, he didn't buy her
a gift. When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you
last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************** *******
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in
sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been
in a long time!' she said. So I suggested,
'How about the kitchen?'

And that's when the fight started....
************************************************** *******
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you
want to have sex?' 'No,' she
answered. I then said, 'Is that your final
answer?' She didn't even look at me this time,
simply saying 'Yes.' So I said, 'Then I'd
like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started....
************************************************** ***********
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream
for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at
night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started......
************************************************** ***********

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first.. 'I'll have the
strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said,
'Aren't you worried about themad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's when the fight started.....

************************************************** ********

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
the channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I
said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...
================================================== ========

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes
from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale.


And then the fight started...
================================================== ==========

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her ,
'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' she sighed, '
He's my old boyfriend... I understand he
took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober
since.' 'My God!' I said, 'who would
think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...
================================================== =========

I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were
alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed
and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I
couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over
to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!' So, I looked down at him and said,
'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started
================================================== ===========

SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST...

THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But,
somehow I always had something else to take care of first,
the truck, the car, playing golf ' Always something more
important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way
to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her
seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny
pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time
and then went into the
house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish
cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the
driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a
limp..

[Ramster]

Nice one Al

The fights always start in our house as soon as i open my mouth

After 25 years you woulda thought i learnt my lesson

[Alnoble]

lol. Not quite made 25 years yet (Later this year) I'm still learning the ropes