"I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die."

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water." - WC Fields

When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.

To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!