Jokes

[pdutty]

here is one:

A very old couple that have been married forever are sitting on their porch one night. Suddenly, the old woman reaches over and smacks her husband, knocking him off the porch and into the bushes. He crawls back up and asks, "What was that for?" She says, "For having a little pecker." He sits there quietly a moment, then smacks her, sending her off the other side of the porch and into the bushes. She crawls back and says, "What was that for?" He says, "For knowing there was more than one size."

[pdutty]

3 men are sitting in a waiting room outside the birthing center in a hospital when a nurse comes out and says to the first guy: "Congratulations, you are the father of twins!" "What a conincidence." says the guy, "I play for the Minnesota Twins.

A little bit later, the same nurse comes out and says to the second guy: "Congratulations! You are the father of triplets" To which the second guy says: "What a conincidence, I work for 3M."

All of a sudden the 3rd guy gets up and says: "I'm getting out of here, I work for 7up."

[pdutty]

The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes...

[p0nczekPL]

The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."

[p0nczekPL]

Q: What do a blonde and a car have in common?
A: They can both drive you crazy.