Some funny chat in the chatbox

[Poker Orifice]

Anyone here any particularly funny chat in the chatbox on the tables recently?
I read a thread elsewhere on the internet about funny stuff players had read in the chatbox & then a couple of hrs. later this hand here comes up.

This is a an MTT (not sure what it was offhand) just yesterday (I played a bunch).
I had a pretty bigstack as I'd gotten paid off nicely with some monster hands (one huge one inparticular was when UTG player raised & with QQ I just flatted instead of 3-betting, as he also had a bigstack & didn't want to get into a situation where I'd be facing a big 4bet for a good chunk of my stack. Two others called & then strange enough I lean towards a friend of mine (also playing online at my place) and say, "wow.. looks like I might have to play this QQ for setvalue now... sigh"). Flop comes Q-T-4 2-tone. UTG leads out & I ship it (a bit of an overshove, kinda looking like I'm maybe shipping a big draw with TPTK.. or may AKs, etc. I'm actualy hoping & thinking he might have AA/KK (he was a tight player & raised utg). He calls & showed AA & I took down a monster. (ok so that's prior reads/table image).

I start raising fairly frequently in pos. and then a couple of orbits later I get 'the hand' - - AQo in MP and I raise it up 2.5x. BTN calls & BB defends. 3 to the flop.
Flop comes K-K-6 (2-tone) & I choose to check
(not the type of flop I want to c-bet as it'd be easy for them to raise me off the best hand & there's really not many cards I'm worried about hitting on the turn.

Turn 'Q'
BB checks & I decide to check (still don't want to get bet off the best hand & still am not all that concerned about what hits on the turn... AND.. more Importantly the player on BTN is a bit of a spewy fish & will likely bet when checked too (at least this is what I'm believing from prior reads) and am thinking he's likely on med. pp's that would've just flatted pre and now might be wanting to pick off this pot or maybe even thinks he's ahead. So.. I check/call (BB folds). {I don't think a worse hand calls me if I raise here and I don't think I'm going to be able to extract much value out of hands I'm beating here on the turn AND because of the notes/reads I have on this guy, I really don't want to get raised off the best hand (ie. if he's actually holding a K.. which for him I believe he'd check on the flop if he was checked too).
BTN bets.. I call.
River is a blank '9'
(unless JT hand which is possible) I'm turning my hand into a bluff catcher.
I check the river (doubting I'm going to get much value from worse hands.. & not going to like it if I were to value bet the river & then have villain raise allin).
Villain bets out ~3/4pot.. a healthy-lookin' value bet... and I call!
Villain shows 8-3o and we take down an ok pot of 5,200.

The chat that followed was kinda fun.

Redcanucks: meh you got chips
Redcanucks: otherwise, you're out for sure
DeepchapChopra: maybe
Dealer: LargeBets has 15 seconds left to act
Redcanucks: no, definitely.
DeepchapChopra: KQ?... KJ < doubt it
Redcanucks: you're a soft player
Dealer: LargeBets has 15 seconds left to act
Dealer: Redcanucks shows [Ad Qd]
Dealer: LargeBets shows [Jc Qc]
DeepchapChopra: oh.. why ty
DeepchapChopra: but I think I got the max that hand...no?
Dealer: Redcanucks shows a pair of Queens
Dealer: LargeBets shows a pair of Queens
Dealer: Redcanucks wins the pot (5,490) with a pair of Queens
Dealer: Hand #24128061684
DeepchapChopra: you mean I coulda gotten more out of your 83 there?
Dealer: Yoni-mehhh has 15 seconds left to act
Dealer: Redcanucks has 15 seconds left to act
Redcanucks: no, it was a bluff obviously
Redcanucks: why woudl i call a raise ? idiot.
Dealer: LargeBets has 15 seconds left to act
DeepchapChopra: oh.. I guess I got the max then.. I must be an idiot
Dealer: LargeBets wins the pot (2,350)
Dealer: Hand #24128085220
Dealer: Redcanucks has 15 seconds left to act
Redcanucks: you got the max I was willing to give away on a bluff
Redcanucks: you got the max i allowed myself to give you, well done!
DeepchapChopra: you mean I could've gotten more another way?
Dealer: camabla has 15 seconds left to act
Dealer: furi1989 shows [Ts 8c]
Dealer: camabla shows [Jh As]
Redcanucks: of course not.....you're a dolt.
Dealer: furi1989 shows a full house, Eights full of Tens
Dealer: camabla shows two pair, Jacks and Eights
Dealer: furi1989 wins the pot (5,220) with a full house, Eights full of Tens
Dealer: Hand #24128106316
Dealer: LargeBets has 15 seconds left to act
DeepchapChopra: I am?..oh.. ok
DeepchapChopra: but I thought I got the max out of you?

[Poker Orifice]

You gotta love some of the chat you see on the tables of online poker. This hand & the following chat by him after was just kinda fun for me because I had this guy pegged as 'an over-aggro-spewtard'... the types you'll so often see in early & mid-levels in lower buyin MTTs online (esp. Fulltilt for some reason?). You know the types.. the guys who'll put out the big POT bet on the river that just makes zero sense... or the ones who'll defend in the blinds to your raise every single time & then lead out on the flop with a 'POT' bet every single time (you know they have a weak hand.. ie. TopPr. med.kicker at best..or a 88 on a flop with an overcard or two.. or MPTK.. ie. ATo on a K-T-8 flop....because there's no way they'd do this with a big hand. They'd near always check-to-the-raiser or check-raise the flop..'or' lead out for a smaller cbet (smaller than "POT") to get value for their big hand. I find these players annoying at times BUT they're great for taking down big pots off of.
I knew this guy was one of them... so I waited. His remarks were pretty funny imo... I only won what he was willing to give me.... ha ha ha... NICE!!!

Any funny chat on any of your tables lately? It'd be fun to hear about it here.

[Terminal Frost]

Waiting on the bubble. Geez.

CURSORCURSE: ok
LENZZZ: come on guy ...
CURSORCURSE: ill be like u
CURSORCURSE: cool
CURSORCURSE: we all can play like that
LENZZZ: please not ...
CURSORCURSE: nah
CURSORCURSE: i been sitting ehre
CURSORCURSE: here
CURSORCURSE: every hand
CURSORCURSE: waiting
CURSORCURSE: 1 min
CURSORCURSE: 2 min
CURSORCURSE: like why?
CURSORCURSE: how?
CURSORCURSE: where?
CURSORCURSE: for what?
LENZZZ: yeah u r right
VW596: i don't stall as long as i could
<< Result for Hand 371096922 >>
CURSORCURSE wins (700 chips).
VW596: i'm on social security,,, try living on 950 dollars a month
CURSORCURSE: ok cool
CURSORCURSE: ill help u out
CURSORCURSE: n lets all cash
CURSORCURSE: $4
PAAPY: slower
THE THIN ICE: lets all just sit here and get blinded out
THE THIN ICE: that'll help
VW596: sounds good to me lmao
LENZZZ: thats so tired
THE THIN ICE: so others get more chips and you wont have a chance for real
THE THIN ICE: real $
PAAPY: 36 to $$$
CURSORCURSE: i hope u make it pappy
THE THIN ICE: ill transfer you $4
CURSORCURSE: u cant
CURSORCURSE: $10 min
THE THIN ICE: lol
PAAPY: me too
VW596: really guys i'm sry about doing this
LIMELEMONADE: you have 4k.
VW596: only 25 to go
LIMELEMONADE: are you folkin ******?
CURSORCURSE: its ok i using the spare time to roll more joints
PAAPY: 23
VW596: lol
LENZZZ: oh yeah
LENZZZ: thats what i need, too
PAAPY: puff puff pass
VW596: hydrocodone
CURSORCURSE: now break
LENZZZ: oh no please not
VW596: lol
CURSORCURSE: this is awesome
LENZZZ: i am doing a break since 20 mins on this table ...
VW596: ok no more stalling,, i promise
LENZZZ: until place 360 we can continue that no problem ... ^^
LENZZZ: buti will win this tournament

[Terminal Frost]

Still waiting:

[dealer] Player ALESANDROUA has requested additional time. There are currently 60 seconds remaining for player ALESANDROUA to act.
<< Result for Hand 371116152 >>
LENZZZ wins (675 chips).
[dealer] Player CURSORCURSE has requested additional time. There are currently 57 seconds remaining for player CURSORCURSE to act.
<< Result for Hand 371119650 >>
ALESANDROUA wins (975 chips).
LENZZZ: come on make it 360 please
PAAPY: Hey Jude...keep playing slow...
PAAPY: take a sad hand...and play it slower...

[Terminal Frost]

AND FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dealer] Player PAAPY has requested additional time. There are currently 9 seconds remaining for player PAAPY to act.
PAAPY: remember ...360 get paid...
[dealer] Player ALESANDROUA has requested additional time. There are currently 57 seconds remaining for player ALESANDROUA to act.
PAAPY: nice
CURSORCURSE: i got aa
CURSORCURSE: shove
VW596: so do i
CURSORCURSE: all in
THE THIN ICE: i have sooted AA
PAAPY: I folded AA
LENZZZ: me too
[dealer] Player VW596 has requested additional time. There are currently 60 seconds remaining for player VW596 to act.
VW596: guess tripping up is going to be hard
LENZZZ: 361 left
LENZZZ: 259 left
PAAPY: do it
LENZZZ: u are itm
<< Result for Hand 371123022 >>
XOXOXO_GIRL wins (975 chips).
LENZZZ: lets play faster now
LENZZZ: i please u
LENZZZ: wanna win this

[Terminal Frost]

And yet it continues.

CURSORCURSE: yo
CURSORCURSE: stop stalling
CURSORCURSE: plz
CURSORCURSE: cpme on
LIMELEMONADE: lollllllll
LIMELEMONADE: thats so funny.
CURSORCURSE: come on
LIMELEMONADE: the difference between
LIMELEMONADE: 360th place
LIMELEMONADE: and 27th
LIMELEMONADE: is 11 bucks.
LIMELEMONADE: get real.
LIMELEMONADE: lmfao
LENZZZ: they wont
CURSORCURSE: stall now 4 what?
CURSORCURSE: 50c more?
CURSORCURSE: cant even buy a stamp with taht
<< Result for Hand 371131055 >>
XOXOXO_GIRL wins (2,390) with (Straight, ten to ace).
Player PAAPY has finished the tournament in # 324 place.
CURSORCURSE: shove
CURSORCURSE: im all in
CURSORCURSE: shove
CURSORCURSE: hurryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
LENZZZ: that suxx
CURSORCURSE: shoveeeeeeeeeeee
CURSORCURSE: all in

[kingmotan]

LENZZZ: lets play faster now
LENZZZ: i please u
LENZZZ: wanna win this

This made me lol hard

[Poker Orifice]

ha ha ha.. too funny TF. Love it!

I had one the other but lost the chat for it (deleted the HH). Pretty classic.
5 left in 9plyr. sng & one player with decent chipstack was just constantly beaking off.. over & over & over again. THey'd raise or shove on a flop & show AIR.. then make a ton of comments. THis went on & on & on... was pretty ridiculous.
So we're on the bubble Myself & this mouthpiece are the two biggest stacks with 4,700 (him) & 4,900 (me), other two are 2,110 & 1,670. Blinds have gone up to 200/400. I'm in the BB & wake up with QQ... they're on SB & decide to raise preflop.. to 888.. so instead of 3betting (which imo would look too strong).. I just ship it (knowing that they should never call here w/o AA or KK because of the SS's & payout structure). Do they know they shouldn't be calling there w/o AA KK ? (pretty sure they need AA KK there to call... although I haven't run it thru an ICM calc., WIZ, SNG PowerTools or anything). He snapcalls with AQ and goes out as bubbleboy..... weeeeee.
Chat went silent? lol.

[sos_egg_n]

Yes!!! i was once on a table with russell Brand..ow Hang on i thought u said not funny

nothing to report


a line which i have put out a couple of times which i suprised to of not seen before


player1 comment - your a fish
player me - ironic that with your mom been the whale

[Poker Orifice]

I read an article in Bluff Mag around 6mos. ago, where the author deposited a couple hundred online to have some 'fun' on the lower limit cash tables (25nl, 50nl & 100nl).

He decided to play just the worst hands you could imagine.. crazy stuff.. HUGE river or Turn overshoves, etc., showing down complete AIR often.
Other times he'd flat a 4bet out of pos., donk lead out POT on the flop & call a shove.. and a bunch of times he hit some ridiculous suckouts (runner runner gutterball, runner runner flush with an 8hi flush etc.). When he'd ship the Monster Pot he'd say in Chat.. "nh Skippy".. or "SHIP IT.. Skippy"... or "what'd you think I'd have there Skippy.. obviously I'm getting the odds to draw to the backdoor flush". Calling them 'Skippy' over & over. Was pretty funny reading the article as I was picturing what it'd be like sitting at this ahole's table or being on the receiving end of his shenanigans and being referred to as 'Skippy'. I've tried it a few times but I doubt it came across nearly as good.